Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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