if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the day after is always just damage control
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
