Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize