Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
