I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I intend to get homeless drunk
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
