I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
either way he was missing a nipple.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
