i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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