That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
