i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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