Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
