I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
