i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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