whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
