Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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