Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
