It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
