I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
