Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
