So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
This show inspires me to have sex in space
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
