i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
