I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
