You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
