I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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