I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
