Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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