Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
