dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
