so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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