I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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