That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he thought i was a dude.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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