clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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