Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Shame - the story of my life.
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