...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
