and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
