How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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