rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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