Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My dick has a subreddit
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Congratulations! We have a period
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