it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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