how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
