I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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