Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize