Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
