remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
