im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
