She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
