Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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