Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
