why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
