Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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