I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
