so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
third nipple confirmed
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
