We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
