it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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