I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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