she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
