I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
