Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize