You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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