Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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