let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
