i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Brb crying the tears of my youth
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
